AAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGHHHH

I am so damn tired of this house, of school, of this confusion, of this frustration, of being dependent, of so many things. Lord please give me the strength, patience and courage i need to get through this school year in one piece. Please guide me in the right direction and help me to strengthen my walk with You. i am so tired...*sigh*

WOW... its been years since i have been on this thing. i guess its all about myspace and facebook now...that will probably change soon. wow...i dont know where to begin. let me start with this: I AM OFFICIALLY A SENIOR!!!! thank you God. i am counting down the days to when i graduate from high school. i cant stand high school. i have been ready for college since the 8th grade...its sad but true. i'm an older person trapped in a 17 year old's body...its very frustrating.

Wednesday

so wednesday i stayed after school for the last Blessed rehearsal until next school year. it was kind of weird since barely anyone was there but we still rocked the mic like we always do. so after rehearsal i hung out with a "friend"...he was suppose to be somewhere else but i was more important (no...i'm kidding what he needed to be at was cancelled). so we talked (among other things) and then saw how late it was so he walked me to the bus stop and i came home smilin from ear to ear.

Thursday

so thursday i stayed after school solely to hang out with my friend from wednesday. at first it was kind of messed up because we werent alone, but once we were everything was beautiful. words cant describe how i felt...i was so...i dont know. i can honestly say of all things feelings i have felt i had never felt that way before and i wanted to hold on to the feeling for as long as possible. the problem came when i realized my mother had called me 29 times(its so sad i had more freedom when i was in elementary school and needed her to watch me. now that i am old enough to take care of myself is when she decides to get all protective and watchful...little late dont you think?) so i called her and she was her normal angry self only two levels higher...normally i would have been ready to fight her and been up in her face since she was all up in mine, but i was soooo elated from the days events that i just took in what she said apologized and went to my room smilin from ear to ear. later on that night  called my friend and asked him how he felt he said it was appetizing...i was like excuse me...then he explained he felt wonderful and good but he wanted more like when you get an appetizer before the main meal. i joked about how he was comparing me to food. then he asked me how i felt...at first i didnt know what to say, but then i thought about it and i told him i felt content...he didnt think that was good considering what content means (to be satisfied, but wanting more). i told him he basically was feelin the same way...it ended up being an interesting night.

Friday

today i was kind of upset because i wont get to see my friend for quite some time since he wont be at school next week and after next week there isnt any school (thank you Jesus). then on top of that i didnt get to spend time with him like i wanted to because i was late to school and he was busy tryin to take care of stuff since next week is finals, but he wont be here. it was just a really depressing day. hopefully when i go to choir rehearsal tonight my spirits will be lifted.

you know i told myself i would never let this happen...i told myself i would never let it get htis far...i told myself that i was through and finish...now what am i going to do...what am i going to do...GOD hear my prayers...please give me the strength and wisdom i need...LORD i need you now...

BE Blessed, STAY BLessed

How You Are In Love

You take a while to fall in love with someone. Trust takes time. You tend to take more than give in relationships. You tend to get very attached when you're with someone. You want to see your love all the time. You love your partner unconditionally and don't try to make them change. You stay in love for a long time, even if you aren't loved back. When you fall, you fall hard.

You Are Apple Pie

You're the perfect combo of comforting and traditional Those who like you crave security

You Have a Choleric Temperament

You are a person of great enthusiasm - easily excited by many things. Unsatisfied by the ordinary, you are reaching for an epic, extraordinary life. You want the best. The best life. The best love. The best reputation. You posses a sharp and keen intellect. Your mind is your primary weapon. Strong willed, nothing can keep you down. Your energy can break down any wall. You're an instantly passionate person - and this passion gives you an intoxicating power over others. At your worst, you are a narcissist. Full of yourself and even proud of your faults. Stubborn and opinionated, you know what you think is right. End of discussion. A bit of a misanthrope, you often see others as weak, ignorant, and inferior.

Merry Christmas!!!!!!